Parenting isn’t easy if you’re a decent parent. In fact, parenthood is the hardest occupation that exists. I know if you’re not a parent, you probably think, “How hard can it be?” I know I had a ton of misconceptions before I became a mother. Then, you add a spouse into the mix and truly learn how difficult parenting can be with different approaches.
Being a good mom has been a goal since I was five years old. Have I made parenting mistakes? Several. I wish I could go back and fix them, but that’s impossible. I keep trying everyday and pray I get something right. My husband and I clash on many parenting styles. I’m flexible with what they eat while he’s a fan of the “clean plate club.” I can’t even eat my whole meal, why would I expect a kid to do so? Also, he’s big on “eat what I make,” while I’m more of asking what would you like and never forcing them to eat something they don’t like. I’m not saying either method is wrong or right. I just do not like hypocrisy.
On the other hand, I’m strict on parenting with entertainment, foul language and respect. My husband had a different parenting style growing up. He was raised that you could watch whatever, have posters of girls with bikinis on his wall (his mom actually laminated them.,cringy,) and cursing was acceptable. I had the opposite experience and even though I thought it was strict at the time, I really appreciate it now.
No one cursed, and if you did, you were in huge trouble. My dad watched shows ahead of time for appropriateness. Before we could watch a movie in the theater, he read all about it before he gave an answer. We had battles over this, but now I do the same. Jeff says, “go ask your mom,” before watching anything new. I’m also happy both kids know now what is decent and what isn’t. Jason, especially, can’t stand hearing cursing and reports in immediately what is appropriate. I’m sure this might change as he enters teen years, but I will hold fast.
I think of cursing as lazy. With all of our vast vocabulary, why resort to disgusting language that seriously can induce trauma? Just say what you mean, “I’m angry!” But, I do understand this might not be popular opinion, but there’s a lot about me that isn’t popular opinion. Sure, I’m not perfect on this, and I apologize. But I do better the next time.
As far as posters or inappropriate entertainment, no. I raise my kids as of course it’s good to be attracted to the opposite sex, but there’s much more to a person than outside appearances. We don’t use people’s appearance as our entertainment. I admit that I had two posters of guys when I was a teenager. However, they were completely dressed and a movie poster. I can’t see my kids doing this just based on their personalities. Laura is seventeen and never even thought of it. Jason, well I guess we will cross that bridge when needed.
Parenting is often saying no and occasionally saying yes. I do say yes to things and even now, they know my limits, I don’t even have to answer. As far as my husband and I parenting styles, we usually do what I say because he agrees the outcome is usually better. However, if he really doesn’t agree with me, we discuss privately and come to a decision.
While parenting is difficult, it’s also the most rewarding position. The smiles, laughter, hugs, and watching them learn from successes and failures are the best.
