Anxiety can trigger spasms in cerebral palsy. Every type of cerebral palsy is completely different than the other. Cerebral palsy is probably one of the most diverse disabilities that exist. My cerebral palsy is a complicated one, and it’s difficult to find information on it. I’d love to discover more people who have similar experiences to me as far as cerebral palsy.
I know that I have a mixture of all types of cerebral palsy. Spastic cerebral palsy is when muscles are stiff and rigid. Athetoid or dyskinesia is when the muscles have involuntary movements. These movements make doing anything challenging.
Having cerebral palsy is an adventure because you never know what your body is going to do next. I remember when I was in school and realized that my body reacted when I felt stress. Reading aloud to a group felt the worst. The anticipation of everyone looking at me made me feel anxious. My body would then act crazy when my turn would come. As I grew more comfortable with the group, my body tension relaxed.
As the years continued, I learned my cerebral palsy had triggers that would definitely set my spasms off. Meeting new people, sad situations, angry arguments, feeling hot or sick would create me to move even more. When I entered my teenage years and began liking boys, my spasticity increased. Can you imagine how embarrassing it felt knowing that your body would take over uncontrollably just by talking to someone you were attracted to? I absolutely hated it and wished it never happened.
Through the years, I’ve been able to have some sort of control over my body. Muscle relaxers helped me when I knew an uncomfortable situation came up. Obviously, I couldn’t predict all of these situations, but I did learn my triggers. For example, whenever I need to attend a funeral, I take medication that will help my muscles to relax because funerals are sad. Being in somewhat control over my body empowered me.
Is it anxiety?
Anxiety and social anxiety are hot topics right now for mental health. I heard of a few friends that had similar experiences with their cerebral palsy and emotional triggers. They tried anxiety mediation and it worked great for them. Others have took anxiety medication, and it worked well.
I made an appointment to talk to my doctor about what was going on with me. She listened and said I should try a medication called Zoloft. She said it worked excellent in some women especially that have anxiety. I thought I’d give it a try because I just wanted to be able to talk to others with ease.
Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for me to know that Zoloft wasn’t right for me. In fact, instead of relaxing me, I became very spastic and my muscles in my thighs were super tight. They were so tight that I could hardly sleep. My attendant noticed a difference when she lifted me into my wheelchair. Sitting still in my wheelchair had become impossible from the medication.
The side affects were too much for me to handle especially when my doctor said it could last for three weeks. I realized that my problem isn’t with anxiety really. My problem is just cerebral palsy triggers at certain times. I also believe that mentally I believe people will reject me due to my speech. So when I realized that I needed to remember my self worth, boost my confidence, breathe and use my muscle relaxers during stressful situations, my life became a happier place. It only took me about twenty years to accept myself as I am, but I’ve arrived!
Originally published by Cerebral Palsy News Today by Jessica Grono
