The weekend could not have been better despite laryngitis. Tonight the same sweetness – Laura and Jason volunteered to help our parish preist with Mass for the Holy Day of Obligation. They make a great team. Mass is always sweet.

My health issues continue with laryngitis. Laryngitis has been since June 24! I’m feeling more convinced that it’s stemming from my hiatal hernia and GERD – I have no idea why they won’t give me an endoscopy even though I begged. Laryngitis is a sign of acid damaging vocal cords. Today I drank lemonade and immediately started uncontrollably coughing for what seemed like forever. Lemonade triggers GERD. Thursday I have another appointment which my dad asked if he could attend because it’s ridiculous not being heard (literally.) I’m trying so hard to stay positive, keep going etc but I’m scared. 

The what ifs crawl in my mind – what if it’s esophagus cancer? What if whatever it is could have been treated all summer but lack of medical expertise held it back?  

My life was / is actually going in a good direction – I had a job interview that I should have aced but my voice held me back. Our marriage is going in a good direction and planning a vow renewal. My family is healing. Laura has dual diagnosis now that we can support. She is on the verge of having her driver’s license and her most busiest time with college trips, SATs and learning adaptations to her own needs. Jason is growing and entering the tween stage (I definitely need a voice for that!)

I just want to be whole again so I can be the mother and wife I want to be instead of a whisper. If I had a $1 every time I hear, “what did she say?” I’d be rich! We keep overcoming things that appear impossible that I’m just ready for a few months of being healthy and can concentrate on building back a life.

I feel close to God, but I don’t understand this direction with my laryngitis. I’m trying to make some sense of it. I’m praying constantly and trying to get some answers.

Please continue to keep me in prayers. Eating is becoming more challenging unless it’s small or soft. My voice is quiet and coughing spells are scary. If it’s cancer or anything else, pray that I just know so I can make steps. Thank you to all who text me, include me, love me no matter what. Not being able to speak has put me in a lonely place so each text, something funny or just a hi always helps. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🎈🖐️❤️