Change and goodbyes are my weaknesses. Laura is a senior in high school and a very busy one. She will shortly be applying to colleges, and the last celebrations will be had as the year continues. Her life as an adult will begin. I remember these times as clear as day and how exciting I felt. I didn’t realize how painful the senior year could be for my parents, especially my father, because I lived with him.
Of course, I want Laura to grasp everything she can in life. For almost 18 years, I held, helped, guided, and taught her. In turn, she taught me much more. Laura is intelligent, resilient, funny, serious, intense, Catholic and honorable. I hope I had something to do with some of these traits, but it’s always been Laura.
When Laura started Kindergarten, I cried in bed, knowing that these school years would go by so fast. I knew that one day, she would be a senior and fly. Laura took academics seriously and would be upset when she had anything less than a perfect score. I taught Laura at a young age that having good grades was important. Good grades help open doors, and if you have a solid foundation, then if you have a difficult time, you have a cushion to fall back on.
With both kids, I help with homework each night. Laura and I would study and I’d assist any chance I could. I also helped her to learn how to study independently. Somewhere during middle school, she stopped asking for help because she no longer needed help. I miss asking spelling words, checking math problems and studying for tests. I still do this with Jason, but he isn’t nearly as excited about learning as Laura. He has different talents and interests.
Fortunately, my theory was correct. Laura contracted several illnesses during her junior year of high school. I admit that I felt scared that her GPA would suffer. Luckily, her GPA went from a 4.2 to a 4.1. She came out of the other side a warrior with success.
Since Freshman year, Laura has been increasingly busy. She is in color guard, plays, AFJROTC and National Honor Society. We were happy whenever she had a few moments to spend at home. Now she has a boyfriend so she is even more busy. The change of not having her home was hard, but we knew that she would be home at night. During high school, I always thought, ‘Well, she is only a sophomore,” etc. Now the time is here – senior year. The last band camp, last Homecoming, senior night for band (no idea how I will manage that one,) last prom, senior awards, and graduation.
I’m unsure where Laura will attend college, but I know it won’t be a thirty-minute ride. I pray constantly that God’s will be done, but I pray she’s no more than 6 hours away. I went to college 6 hours away and always wished I was an hour or two away. Visiting quickly would have been much more manageable than air flights and long car rides. I hope Laura won’t be too far and that this is for both of us (Jason plus Jeff). Most importantly, I want Laura to follow God’s will and learn everything she can.
As far as advice at this stage of life, I have none yet. I know to enjoy each moment and live in the present. God doesn’t believe in giving us endings; we have commas. Laura will always be my daughter and in my life. She grew up to be a great, competent person and someone to respect. Although I’m already tearing up at all the endings this year will bring, I need to come to be excited about her next steps.
Please keep us in your prayers. My random, overwhelming feeling of crying is getting annoying, and I certainly don’t want Laura to feel any guilt about her excitement about being her own woman.
