April is a weird month for me. It was great until 2007 – my sister’s birthday and spring is in April. Of course, it’ll always be great because of her birthday. But it’s bitter and painful. Thursday will mark 16 years since Israel (Laura’s dad / my husband) died. Grief still is present. Then, on April 8, it will be seven years since my double mastectomy due to cancer—both life-altering painful memories. Death doesn’t get easier. Sixteen years and feels like yesterday- the good and evil. Just keep us in your prayers a little this week. Grief tips help me survive.
A mastectomy is a triumph because of overcoming cancer. However, it’s never as comfortable as your body parts. The skin is always cold and just metal. It’ll never be the same, but I’m happy to have the privilege of surviving. Grief happens losing a body part.
Someone dying from suicide also seems never as comfortable because you always have questions. What could I do or say differently? What signs were missed? How would he and Laura get along? They’re so much alike. Does he regret it? How has Laura’s life changed not knowing him but knowing what he did? Did I do the right thing telling her everything? – These questions will never be answered until I die (perhaps.). But, again, I survived. Laura survived. I went to a grief tips group for help.
My sister is also a fantastic survivor of so much. April should be the month of survival. This book on grief is helpful.
Grief Tips on survival when your world crashes down
- Time heals everything. Time doesn’t bring anyone back, but it heals. The pain you feel now will feel differently in the years ahead.
- Rely on God. God will provide relief. Relief might be quick or take longer than expected, but He will provide.
- Do the steps – Grieving has steps, and you won’t get ahead by skipping. I tried, and it always came back. So go through them as long as it takes. Grief affects everyone differently and at your own pace.
- You will get through this. – Pain is temporary. You’ll survive this and find you are loved, needed, and can help others. Do not give up hope because every minute is new to live your path.
- Find joy/laughter: Laughter is the best medicine. It’s okay to laugh at yourself, your memories, and life. Laughing truly helps.
- Hobbies – Hobbies help you put your thoughts elsewhere. Try any hobby. Even if you don’t like it, you can switch anytime. Always try new things.
- Grief Tips – Always remember you can seek help for grieving tips.
