As a teacher, I’ve always believed in the power of stories. Every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end, and some stories are more magical than others. My story with my husband, Jeff, is one of those magical yet interesting tales. How I met my late husband is a different story for another time.
It all began on a crisp autumn day, a day like any other. I was caught up in the whirlwind of taking care of Laura, keeping everything going strong at home and completely unaware that my life was about to change forever. After being on a string of ridicious first dates, I decided to give dating a break. Men annoyed me at this point. I had some pretty strange dates. Some were disability related because they seemed okay with cerebral palsy before the date, and then acted strange after we met. On other dates were just strange and we didn’t hit it off. That day, I decided to re-read a message that I received on MySpace. I ignored this certain message purposely because I was taking a break from dating.
Little did I know, that reading the email would eventually change my life toward my husband. The email was pretty generic saying that he liked my picture and asked me how I was doing. I didn’t answer for two or more weeks. One day, in November 2008, I went through my emails on MySpace and came across his. His picture looked cute so I decided to say hello back for the fun of it.
Jeff emailed me back quickly. Our emails turned into instant messages after Laura went to bed. We had several conversations mainly about what we wanted in life, what we liked to do, career goals, and what we liked to do for fun. I thought he was a nice guy, but he was 29 and I was 33. I felt like I lived a lot of life that he hadn’t. My late husband died from suicide, I was a single mother and have cerebral palsy. I just could not fathom why we would ever be a match.
Jeff asked me on a date a few days after we began to talk. I thought I might as well go because it might be fun. My logic too was before we continued speaking more, we should meet and see if we like each other in person. Jeff thought it was funny that I just wanted to get it over with. This is somewhat true since I didn’t want to drag out something online that would not last in person. Why waste my time or his? Our first date we went to a restaurant called Iron Hill. He fed me with no issues.
A common question that I am asked is if my husband has cerebral palsy. No, he does not have cerebral palsy. While some men might have issues being with someone who has a disability, many do not. Most of the guys I’ve had relationships with did not have a disability. A relationship is not about a disability. It is about your personality, goals, attitude, outlook in life and what you might have in common. Never underestimate someone who has a disability. Get to know them for who they are as a person.
Our relationship blossomed, and it wasn’t long before I realized that he was the one I had been searching for all along. We shared countless memories, from late-night strolls under the stars to heart-to-heart conversations that lasted until dawn. Each moment with him felt like an exciting chapter in my life. He helped me not be so serious and I taught him maturity. In some ways, we are still helping each other with this. We still have challenges and overcame several issues. Jeff and I were engaged six months after we met and married a year later. We are still married with two children and many animals.
We are still different people. Every marriage seems to have secrets to a happy marriage. We respect each other, love one another and perseverance. Many times we wanted to throw in the towel. Then, we pray, step back, and think about a solution. Marriage is hard work but it also teaches us more about our own selves then our spouses. God needs to be in a marriage to assist you. I’m not saying that you can’t be married without the presence of God, but He definitely helps guide you both in the right direction.
Reflecting on our journey, I am grateful for that ordinary day that led to our extraordinary love. Meeting my husband was a reminder that sometimes, the most significant moments happen when we least expect them. Our story is a testament to the magic of serendipity and the beauty of love that transcends time and place.
