Friendships are essential to life because friends guide, support, and love us. Friends keeps us in line, smiling, laughing, and makes life worth while. Imagine how bland life would be without friendships. Having severe cerebral palsy is an obstacle for forming friendships.
Speech impediments, involuntarily movements and not being able to walk deters some people. How can you show someone who is truly inside? How do you form lasting friendships when you have cerebral palsy? The keys are to be your true self, let your light shine and not to take friendships for granted.
As a little girl, finding friends who truly accepted me deemed challenging. Children tend to shy away from those who are different because they just don’t understand. Parents please explain differences in people so fear goes away and friendships begin. Whenever I spoke or attempted to play with a child without a disability, they moved away or make fun of the way I spoke. I ended up sad and frustrated.
Finding Friendships
Luckily, I found many friends who did have disabilities. I attended camp with children with disabilities and made wonderful lasting friendships. But no one really taught me how to push through to gain friends who didn’t have disabilities. When I landed in fifth grade regular classroom, my uphill battle began in making friends who had no disabilities. Being the only one with a disability in class didn’t help. And, being treated as an outcast by the teacher certainly didn’t help matters for me.
I tended to make friends with the “bad” kids in class because they were often sent to the back of the room. We started our friendship because they could easily make me laugh. Once they realized that I had a sense of humor, they realized that I wasn’t as scary as they imagined. A male aide came to help me in physically writing what I dictated especially in math class. He looked attractive, younger and showed a great sense of humor. He helped with my popularity with the girls since they liked being around him.
In seventh grade, it seemed much easier time finding and making friends. A few really good friends who also assisted me in class with books and papers made me happier, Unfortunately, many of these friendships remained in school only. I never held an invitation to parties or after school activities. I longed for parties, but it never happened.
The Change Began When I Accepted Myself
When I attended high school, things started to change for me. Having a boyfriend and more friends helped me tremendously! I found the solution even though it challenged me to do sometimes. Accepting myself and being myself changed everything. When I let my real self shine through, shared a smile and made some eye contact, I created more friendships.
Even now at forty two years old, finding and keeping new friendships challenge me. But having a few good friends that I know care no matter what is worth more to me than thousands of friends. I learned that it’s important to remember to be myself and accept other people for themselves.
