When Jason graduated pre k in June, we all knew that Kindergarten school journey began. Laura decided to leave Renaissance Academy, we knew Phoenixville Middle School was inevitable. Both of the schools are in walking distance from our house. Their first day of their new schools happened to fall on my 43rd birthday. Even though I felt excited for them, I felt sad for me.
Change is not my strength. I hate saying goodbye, and I hate when contentment ends. Logically, I know life is full of change and new experiences. My heart sings a different tune and feels sadness when a goodbye comes.
Over the summer, we worked our best to prepare Jason and Laura. I tried to fill Laura with my best advice for middle school. Confidence, kindness and integrity were my main lessons. I tried to teach Jason independence, confidence and leadership. We worked very hard especially on his kindergarten workbook. I highly recommended doing the workbook with any child going into Kindergarten.
As summer continued, Jason asked me if he was going to kindergarten. Although he felt nervous, I could see his excitement brewing. I practiced with him our walk to school. We walked until the point where we say goodbye. Little did he know but the practice was just as much for him as it was for me. I told him that when we say goodbye, he will say hello to many new friends, adventures and learning. At the end of the school day we would say hello again!
Laura also had her share of excitement and nervousness. We enjoyed our annual middle school supply shopping trip. She rearranged her book bag multiple times. Laura had her routine down. This year she could walk to school. We went to orientation and she walked through her schedule.
When the first day arrived, we couldn’t have been more prepared. Clothes laid out and book bags packed. I felt sad when Laura left since I felt usedto her being with me all day. She was also extremely nervous. We hugged goodbye and her hands were ice cold with nervousness. She confidently walked to school.
Jason’s school starts about an hour after Laura’s. I put on my bravest face, and Jason did his morning routine like a pro. He wanted to cuddle way more than usual. He asked questions about school and we tried to soothe his fears. A pit of emotions were bubbling in my stomach.
As we walked, one of Jason’s good friends met us along the way. I thanked God because Jason felt scared and my bravest armor started to fade as we walked closer to the school. The boys held hands and continued walking like little strong men.
The boys kept walking holding hands all the way in the building to the teacher. As soon as I knew he was safe, I turned my wheelchair as quickly as I could and the tears started to fall.
And the tears fell all the way home.. They even fell throughout the day at random times. The school day seemed to go on forever. When they came home, I felt whole again. They were both happy with school.
The rest of the week went smoother for me. I still think time goes slow when they aren’t here. I’m trying to start new projects and find employment. But, no matter what, the first day of school is the worst day of the year!
